After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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