so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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