Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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