I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
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