He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
