Duck Duck Cougar?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
