I didn't shave. On purpose
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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