I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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