You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
