She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
