Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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(619): View more from California

3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Best friends brother. Beat that.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.

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(210): View more from Texas

drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

(1-210): View more from Texas

I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

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(845): View more from New York

Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class

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