I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
