so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
