my mouth tastes like poor choices
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
