I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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