Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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