Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
