I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
