Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
