With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize