He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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