we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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