I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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