Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
