I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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