If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
