your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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