I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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