the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
