You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
