Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
