she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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