you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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