He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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