i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
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I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Someone signed my nipple.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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