Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
