the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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