True but thats because hes a fetus.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
