also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
