Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
