I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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