Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
