True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
