i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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