i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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