Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
