With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
