not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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