Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
