I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
