1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
