You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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