Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize