I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
