I wish they made helmets for livers.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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