hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
