Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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