I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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