and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
