So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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